Tsukiko's Blog

Where does the endless rain cloud in my mind really wander to?

monsters

A sullen existence Unbelievably so Similar to me

091717

An ever changing mood, in a world where patience is a waste. I can now see, these days, why I do not have the things that I aspire to have. I'm just not meant, to have the things I exactly want in life. The things I work hard for will almo…

082117

Daydream at the seat of the table, pencil in hand, book in front, as the mind leaves the shell, and goes on a short trip to the unknown, and the limitless location. There will be an eclipse later on this morning, knowing I won't sleep past…

061817

A little part of me, breaks each time in silence, in the dark hours of the night, whenever my mother lies to me, whenever she runs away from her problems, whenever my mother shows me how much of a coward she is, it shows me just one thing,…

The present

052017 I feel horrible, I really do, fighting with Brenda when she couldn't give a second care about how I feel. I'm just so upset, I always feel like my feelings are justified, or that I just don't deserve these feelings of anger. Why is …

Coward Heart

In an ocean full of fish, I feel like the only one who has yet to swim outside their comfort zone, and explore the potential beyond the small sea Often times, many people believe that they know themselves best. Their likes, dislikes, desir…

Fate

Sometimes I want to believe that being alone in the present is just the heavens preparing me to fall in love with a good person. But knowing that the heavens are helpless and don't help anyone, I end up remembering my place. I want to love…

Monday chrome

Although days such as these aren't bad, they seem to be the days I forget the easiest. Days where I smile, laugh, have little abstract moments that, if I thought too much about it, I would question the overall existence which is my own sel…

Hidden eyes

Deception is an art, not an action With so little eyes watching me, always complaining on here, I like admitting to my peace of mind, my existence which often grows tired. I wouldn't feel pressured to finish the stories I can't think of an…

마음에

A fickle place in where your true self lies. These days, my heart has a harder time dealing with the emotions of others. I sometimes believe it is the own will of my selfishness at work, but at times, I truly cannot connect my heart to a s…

To Hansol Chwe 021817

You, who is now a year older, is also now so much greater as time grows. To the boy who is now a year older, You've grown so much in front of the thousands of people who admire you from afar, a person who brings smiles and laughter to thos…

Divine 1/3

Such creatures, simply crave power, what else can possibly exist?

The blue sea

With so many inferences that we are given about the world, often times, we forget who we are. Like the sea, it becomes mysterious, endless, questionable. I looked out towards the cold winter sea, my heart, almost as if it were anticipating…

12월 2일 2016년

오늘은 슬퍼요 It's officially December and my mood hasn't been especially great because of a few thoughts and my ugly personality has been taking a run for a while. I seem to feel sad knowing some people live their life not being able to l…

비가 왔습니다

비가. . . 너무 예뻐서. . . It was a Monday morning, crisp and sweet. The skies were Grey and the atmosphere wasn't warm. But it felt more gentle that way. Swaying and Swaying, the wind blew the most gentle of breezes, as the flowers had be…

102016

Keep trying, for it always gets better Often times I've been having a series of sadness swallowing, dwelling over me. I had made the resolution to be less sad this year, but sometimes it still slips out. I don't know what to do. I am feeli…

Flustered 072316

Lately I don't feel like I have much feelings towards anything, I did however get more into kpop which is a good thing to keep my mind on for a while. But I feel the pressure of the future slowly approaching my doorstep, and knowing such a…

050516

I'm such a horrible person there are almost no words to explain my feelings at the moment. I can't believe that even at the times where I sound grieve, there's still room for anger. I don't want to be mad anymore, I don't want to be easily…

12916

Lately I have been having trouble with saying things to my friends. I'm not sure if it's unintended or not, but I feel like I'm usually being ignored. Nowadays I'm scared to say anything in their conversations. I'm hanging out with them to…

🌸 New Persona

I don't often feel like a new year matters, but there are multiple occasions nowadays, where I feel the need to reinvent myself. My attitude since 2015 haven't been desirable. Which is why I felt the gaping hole in my heart as the year en…

Where Do I Go..

I feel lost, like, something undescrible in my chest is constantly pounding my insides. I've made a resolution to stay positive this school year, and I feel like i'm in a black hole trying to find pieces of light. I want to leave my friend…

A Faulted Start

Lately, just lately. I feel irritated. The fresh start wasn't exactly "Fresh" it was more rotten than it was ever fresh. I haven't seen "him" lately, which brings me relief all over. However, this school year feels empty, it's only been th…

I'm stuck

There is a pain in my chest. It hasn't stopped in a long time. I'm not in pain But.... One thing is for sure... I am not satisfied with life... I'm Stuck I'm Lost I'm Unsure of why I exist I'm Tearing apart I'm Dying inside I'm Desperate f…

Predicted or Planned?

What if everything you knew or thought would happen, actually happened... and you couldn't do anything about it even though it was right in front of you?The fresh start I thought was a fresh start really wasn't all that great. I tried so m…

Sometimes it's Bothering Me

What do I do when a fresh start is given to you, but you feel like you can't quite take it?School starts today, I feel anxious yet bothersome today. My friend is sleeping and I'm still awake at this ridiculous hour due to insomnia. I feel …

How it all went down

If I were to be asked "would you ever do this again?" I would probably shake my head in desperation and cry from remembering how it all went... Today i'm writing about my experience from 7th grade when I had moved schools, and how things w…

I feel like i'm slowly sinking...

I can lay in a pile of flowers and be at peace with my entire self, but the thing is, the only time I will ever lay in a pile of flowers... Is my funeral... I feel like... i'm not sure of myself anymore, lately I keep feeling like im bothe…

The times where the rude comments hurt.

When you hurt someone sometimes, it's unintentional, but when people don't like your honesty, they're basically telling you to dig a hole and to not come out of it until you you can lie to their face and pretend to tell them it'll be okay.…

My dream

So I had an almost terrifying dream that made me too scared to go back to sleep. But for some reason the theme that appeared was frightening. It was fairytales I was scared and I knew I was in this dream, but I was so scared, I couldn't wa…

Is There Room?

Is there ever room for one more person? I feel like a nuisance lately, like I'm not exactly good enough to speak out loud or do anything for my own good. Sometimes I feel like my "friends" put everything I say interpret it like it's some t…