Tsukiko's Blog

Where does the endless rain cloud in my mind really wander to?

The Sleepless Night

Threre are so many stars, yet so many more reasons to blind them in our selfishness...


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Those sleepless nights people have, this is one of them for me. I can't seem to keep my eyes shut. I end up feeling confused about my existence at this hour and wonder what I can be doing if I wasn't myself. There are so many people bringing my hopes up on things just to tear me down to pieces. I deserve this though. I've hurt so many people with my selfishness I don't deserve what I still have today. Why am I so greedy? Sometimes I feel like I'm a living sin. Someone who exists to just commit crimes and escape free. But I'm getting my share of bad moments now. All that selfishness built up to this. The end of my reign, and the end of everything I tried so hard to keep to myself. I'm so sorry... To the people I hurt. Because in my own selfishness. I still don't want to hurt them, but I'd rather silently suffer the sins that have been caused by me. The people I caused pain to. I no longer want to make them grimace on their expressions. Soon enough I will keep my mouth shut to not cause pain. I'll stop doing things that hurt others. And that's how I feel about my own suffering. Done in silence. And nobody knowing that I ever changed. In this blind world where the stars no longer exist. Because our selfish existence had made the stars all the more dimmed,and forever unseen...