Tsukiko's Blog

Where does the endless rain cloud in my mind really wander to?

The times where the rude comments hurt.



When you hurt someone sometimes, it's unintentional, but when people don't like your honesty, they're basically telling you to dig a hole and to not come out of it until you you can lie to their face and pretend to tell them it'll be okay.

Today, I was on a rp website, it had a small population, and since it's summer break and it also being a lazy saturday in my world. I decide to go on the website. I make a lot of small talk with newcomers, and a few people that are fairly old and still remember my username. A girl named "Bear" comes into the main chat and says

I am going to punch *******

Everyone in the chat including me asks

Why? What's wrong?

She complains about her boyfriend ******* and we all pity her for an amount of time, and she continues to complain about how her boyfriend doesn't care about her if she was in the hospital, and how her boyfriend would rather meet up with his exes at their beck and call. She complains about how discontent she is being with him. I thought honesty would be the best approach, so I decide to be very blunt and serious at that moment. I come out after a few more sentences of Bear's ranting.

If you're so discontent with this *******, why don't you leave him and find another way to be happy?

Bear got very outraged at my response, she didn't know that it was once a decision I decided to make when a guy treated me just as terribly as she described the bad sides of her boyfriend she didn't know that I decided to say those words to her for those exact reasons... so as she said things like "I'm going to leave before I blow up" I decide to just be a little softer on the edges as she's leaving I tell her to "take your time" But she's still outraged, she lashes out on me for my remark.

Shut up, don't fucking talk to me, go die or something [My username]

I was hurt because I just got over my fear of being the person in my friend group that makes things worse, when she told me to "go die or something" I immediately felt like dying, the pain hurt so much, I immediately turned off my laptop, tried to sleep but ended up crying to sleep. I may be pretty sensitive, but when I told her out of blunt honesty, she despised me for it and wanted me to take my life. I am really sad that some people don't consider that just because we don't rant online to everyone about our problems, that we still have problems we don't want to talk about. It's been a few hours and I still feel really sad about being such a bother to people, making their situations worse and all. But the question is:

How deep am I in this hole already?