Tsukiko's Blog

Where does the endless rain cloud in my mind really wander to?


I often feel like these feelings of mine should not be as powerful as they are. But yet, I feed them the immense amounts of power as if they were snacks. I feel like i'm never doing enough, and yet when I do something, it's never validated. Its never validated due to its normality but, I thought it was everyone's dream to be normal?

I'm not eccentric enough, i'm not hardworking enough, and i'm not creative enough. I'm stuck in a casket with no texture no color no flavors no sound. I have no sense in what I should be nor do I feel like I should even be around. I'm never enough, not even enough to be around. 

I never seem to accomplish what i'd like, and I never seem to reach my goals, I never seem to do well enough for anybody to know. 

I don't know when nor would I even know how, to stop the stammering voices around me. Telling me to take charge and do it, when my body won't even let me. 

I feel trapped and hopeless, like everything I must do isn't enough, the list gets longer just for me to finally realize, I'll never be enough, not enough for anyone, not enough for the world, and definitely not enough for myself.