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I guess it's high time I realize, that my existence really amounts to nothing, nothing I do would ever be significant enough to really live for, hopefully it will only be a matter of time until I can leave this Earth with no consequences. I'm losing the will to wake up everyday and even get out of bed.

I wish almost too often I never woke up, today as well, I wish I wasn't awake, I wish I wasn't alive. I feel like a broken record that keeps wanting to not make it to the next day. 

But for whatever reason I'm here, awake and forced to see the world move every day, when I don't even want to be here to see it. I wish I were dead already, and it's really a shame that I'm not selfish enough to just close the doors on my own. I want to leave and never see the next day again. I'm tired of waking up and having to live. I'm tired of existing for no better reason, I'm wasting my breath, I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting a perfectly good existence I'm sure someone else would cherish more if I just gave them my shoes instead. 

I don't know why I'm still alive, I don't know why I'm still awake, but I sure wish that one of these days I just never wake up again. And die peacefully in my sleep.